Photo Courtesy of Obrag.org

Today is an extra special day at the Going Gray Blog headquarters because… we just turned two!

Here’s an excerpt from one of our favorite 2009 posts by Claire Douglass. Remember her beautiful painting?

"Venus Deleted" by Claire Douglass

“The whole process of revealing my ‘old lady’ hair has also been interesting. The reactions of other people have not always been predictable, and I’ve had to accept my own very visible maturity.

Whenever I am confronted with issues to resolve, I make art, so I want to share this painting with the readers of this blog. Because you’ll get it.”

Read the full post here.

So it’s our birthday and you want to get us something right? Great news! All we want this year is for you to…

1. Be a fan of our blog on Facebook

2. Follow us on Twitter

3. Re-Tweet this to your friends!

Thank you, dear readers, for making this blog what it is today. Keep coming back, we’ve got BIG plans for 2010.

Happy New Year to you all!

Going Gray is one year old this month.  I thought I would republish this post (our first one) and get your thoughts on what would like to discuss this year.  This is your blog!  Guest bloggers are welcome!

Just email goinggray@goinggrayblog.com

Just what is it about gray hair…Originally uploaded by iSeL Knits…that makes some people think they have a right to annoy others with their preconceived ideas about beauty and age and all that other crap that I have no interest in listening to? I cannot get a haircut without getting the usual half-joking (they don’t even have the cojones/ovarios to be honest) comment or lengthy diatribe about how I am “too young” to have all this gray hair exposed. It sort of offends them. And it’s not even that they want my money, because they go as far as to tell me that I could “take care of the problem” myself. REALLY? Been there; done that. Now, could you please respect my freedom to do whatever I want with my f’ing hair? Thank you.

erika no.3

Originally uploaded by themindee

Aging

by Sharon R. Poet

I stood in the line where every body goes,
To fix the aging form of skin, hair or nose.
But strong as stone, I stood as I studied my reflection,
And found these words, I felt, in my body’s deep rejection,
“Each crevice built for tears – these wrinkles on my face,
Are proof of precious years that NOTHING can erase.
In the grey of my fine hair, I sometimes see a glow.
Please handle it with care and let the magic show.
The sparkle in my eyes grows brighter every day.
Please don’t cover it up. Don’t take that away.
Every blemish, bump or sag, in the eyes of the weak,
May make me a hag. But HEAR these words I speak.
I want to remain human – the Truest kind of all.
Don’t stretch, tweak or fix me. I don’t want to be a doll.
I may not fit in, because of how I feel.
But I don’t want to change. So, let me just be REAL.”

My first grey hair?
Originally uploaded by bluemonki

Your first gray hair.  Do you remember when? Where were you?  Who were you with?  What thoughts were running through your head?  What do you know now that you wish you knew then? 

Originally uploaded by Buster Butterfield McLeod

I was thinking what are most gray-haired men thinking??

Here is a great article worth reading!

The Great Pyramids, Giza, Egypt

Originally uploaded by drstout

In the 2007 movie The Bucket List, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson play a couple terminally ill guys who decide to hit the road and do everything they dreamed of doing before they, well…kick the bucket. Trust me; it’s not as morbid as it sounds. And whether you’re terminally ill or getting ready to retire, or just feeling reflective about your life, you almost certainly have your own list of things that you have always wanted to do.

As you mature and look back on your youth and the years you spent raising your family, you realize how quickly time goes by. It’s easy to continue putting things off—especially things that can be considered “impractical”. However, baby boomers are fortunate enough to have excellent health and plenty of energy well into their retirement years, and it would be worth planning to use that time to really experience the world.

The idea is: No Regrets. Maybe your ‘bucket list’ isn’t a big deal to other people: a trip to the Grand Canyon, or going to cooking school. Maybe you want to write a book, or learn to play the piano. Or, maybe you’d like to see the Taj Mahal. Whatever it is, don’t put it off. Make your list now, and decide on a plan for how you want to accomplish it.

color me grey ?|day 32Originally uploaded by ms.Tea

I ran across this 2007 article on SeniorJournal.com: http://seniorjournal.com/NEWS/Boomers/2007/7-03-06-ExpertsPredict.htm

Basically, it talks about market trends for baby boomers and it is all very interesting, but I was particularly fascinated by the part that talks about Beauty and Self-Image.

Myrna Blyth sees boomer women embracing their beauty as they age, rather than fighting it. “The goal of boomer women will not be to look younger but to feel better and more accepting about the way they look,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean these women want to look dowdy or out-of-it. Just the opposite. They want to look as good as they can and they want to celebrate the vitality and the self-confidence their experience has given them.

This is exactly what I’ve been saying all along. Gray hair isn’t a resignation of beauty—it’s the evolution of beauty! Today’s woman is ready to celebrate their experience and wisdom rather than hide it away as if they were ashamed of their true selves.

Maybe it’s a pendulum swing from a culture that has been so obsessed with youth for too long. Or, maybe it’s just that people are finally starting to realize that we’ve all been living unnaturally for too long. Either way, it looks like we’re going to be seeing a lot more of it in the coming years.

For as long as I can remember there’s been a double standard on television and in movies.  Older, gray haired men paired with young, sexy women.  Sean Connery and George Clooney co-star opposite women 20 or more years their juniors.  Fred Astaire and Gene Kelley would star with women 30 years or younger in classic films like Funny Face or Singin’ in the Rain.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think older men are sexy.  I just think there are plenty of sexy older women, too…and I wonder at the logic behind ignoring women for romantic roles as they get older.

Michelle Pfeiffer recently starred in a movie called I could never be your woman about a relationship between a 40-year-old woman and a 20-something man.  Not surprisingly it went straight to DVD.  After all, with sixteen-year-olds Mylie Cyrus and Jamie Lynn Spears in the news–what could be interesting about someone in their 40′s? 

Turns out “Woman” got good reviews.  Apparently even with a few years on her, Pfeiffer is still a better actress than both Jamie Lynn and Mylie.  Go figure.  The movie itself challenges the ridiculous prejudices about women not being sexy in their middle years…and it provides both Pfeiffer and her co-star Paul Rudd a chance to tell a story that doesn’t often get told.

“Have no fear for givin’ in.  Have no fear for giving over.  You better know that in the end, it’s better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again….” 

-From the song “Say” by John Mayer (From the movie The Bucket List)

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love John Mayer.  Okay, okay, he might be too young for me, but so what.  His new song ”Say” speaks to me on so many levels.   ”Say” is played at the end of the movie The Bucket List  starring Academy Award winners Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.  The Bucket List is about two terminally ill cancer patients who have their say about their final days on earth.   Having lost my father to cancer eight years ago, this movie is on my “to see” list. 

As I was listening to “Say” this morning,  I started thinking about the choice to go gray and the completeness that comes with having a say about the way we live our lives.   I also see the choice to go gray, especially in an anti-aging, appearance-obsessed society, much bigger than taking a stand against convention.  For many of us, going gray means accepting the natural process of aging with magnanimity, honor and respect.  It means getting up in the morning and feeling blessed that we even have hair to groom.    And it represents the precious gift of life and all of its wonder, blessings and possibilities.   Going gray has its say about many things.  

The lyrics from the song ”Say”:

Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put ‘em in quotations.

Say what you need to say (x8)

Walkin’ like a one man army,
Fightin’ with the shadows in your head.
Livin’ up the same old moment
Knowin’ you’d be better off instead

If you could only…Say what you need to say (x8)

Have no fear for givin’ in.
Have no fear for giving over.

You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin’,
Do it with a heart wide open.

(Wide Heart)

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to, Say what you need to…

Say what you need to say.

 I know I am going out on a limb here, but what the hell…..  John Mayer for President! 

In the 18th century, going gray in the workplace was hip.  The white and gray “must have” powdered wigs were viewed as symbols of status, power and prestige.   In 2008, workplace gray vs. workplace cover up is churning into a highly contentious debate.  Some say it’s a disastrous move to flaunt gray in the workplace; others believe it can enhance your career.  Here is one woman’s experience taken from an article at MSNBC.com:

“Kathy Kolbe, a Phoenix-based public speaker and consultant to corporations on human instincts, is one of the comparatively few gray-haired women in business. After alternating between dyed and not, she declares herself now “permanently gray” after concluding it is an advantage in more ways than one.

She noticed she got lots of offers of help on her business travels when gray peeked through — from hoisting bags into overhead bins on airplanes to other assistance — and “pretty much nobody offered help” when it was hidden.

“So I let the whole head go gray and, voila, doors magically opened,” said Kolbe, 65.”