India.Arie released a song in 2005 titled “I Am Not My Hair.”  Here are some of the lyrics:

Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen and I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
Fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen when I went all natural
February 2002 I
Went on and did what I had to do, oh
Because it was time to change my life
To become the woman that I am inside
’97 dreadlocks all gone
I looked in the mirror for the first time and saw that
Hey…

I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no, no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within

Hair is such a huge part of a person’s identity.  Hair care and products are a major industry.  Our society stereotypes blonds, brunettes, redheads and grays.  Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe calls her hair her “security blanket.”  Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair” shed light on the topic of black hair.

India.Arie’s song also takes on the topic of African hair.  It’s not about going gray, but the chorus “I am not my hair … I am a soul that lives within” resonates for anyone who has ever been labeled for his or her physical appearance.

Going gray is about embracing your natural self, inside and out.  So the next time you feel judged for your silver locks, remind yourself and remind others, “It’s not what’s on your head, it’s what’s underneath.”

In some disciplines, the color gray is associated with change and uncertainty.  Sounds like going gray, doesn’t it?  But other discourses have their own, more confident, interpretations of the color gray.

For those of you in the process, you know one common interpretation of the color gray already: transitioning.  While transitioning to a full head of gray hair is often the most challenging part of going gray, this symbol is actually about smooth transitions and making life easier.  Think of it this way: would you rather transition with temporary skunk hair and salt-and-pepper hair, or would you be partial to a blunt black-and-white-striped zebra look?  (Edgy, sure, but it’s probably not a practical everyday look for most.)

Along that same line of thought is the idea that gray represents balance.  Visually, it plays middleman to black and white.  (Maybe that’s why some Native American cultures consider gray to be a symbol of friendship.)  There’s a reason we say “Gray is the New Black.”  Gray looks great next to many other colors.  (If you haven’t read it before, check out our blog post “What to Wear with Your Gray Hair.”)  Gray is the wise voice of reason in a sea of clashing colors.

Life is rarely black and white.  Most of the time, life is some shade of gray.  After all, it’s only natural.

• World-renowned womanizer James Bond (played by Daniel Craig) puts himself in a woman’s shoes in this short by WeAreEquals.org, featuring the voice of one of our favorite gray-haired actresses, Judi Dench. •

Today is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, and Going Gray Blog loves the 2011 theme, “Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women.”

Our blog’s tagline is “Celebrating the Right to Choose” because we believe in the woman’s prerogative to the same choices in life that men have.  Whether it is the option to go gray or the decision to pursue higher education, women deserve the same opportunities as their male counterparts.

If you’d like to take part, there are hundreds of events being hosted in the United States today in celebration of International Women’s Day and thousands all over the world.  Some events will take place online, including 24 hours of special radio programming at kboo.fm/listen.

To learn more about the history and events celebrating International Women’s Day, visit www.InternationalWomensDay.com or the United Nations page.

Click the image to view larger.

What do gray hair, goose bumps, sleeping feet and hiccups have in common?

Well, when I picked up a box of Albertson’s Good Day with Strawberries cereal last week, I found out.  Just before I dropped it into my shopping basket, the box’s bright and whimsical design on the back caught my eye.

The heading was “Do You Know Why?” and it was followed by explanations of why all four events occur.  It was a fun read, not to mention comforting to see that whoever came up with this idea identified going gray as a natural—almost quirky—part of life, comparable to getting goose bumps and hiccups.

What was the first thought when you spotted your first gray hair?  Did you cry?  Did you laugh?  Did you curse?  Did you make a drugstore run for hair dye? What was your last thought?

Have you made peace with your changing hair hue? We’d love to hear what you have to say about going gray.

If you’ve decided to embrace your gray hair and live out loud – share your story with us!  And if you are still coloring your hair, that’s ok too – share your story!

*photo courtesy of sharell74

By Hula in Portland

We are so excited about the upcoming release of the new e-book, Color Me Gray: Inspirational Stories from Women Gone Gray. The stories and photographs featured in the e-book are personal journeys, experiences and musings by women who have made the choice to stop coloring their hair.

One of the contributors, Libbe HaLevy has been kind enough to share a bit of her story below!

Great Gray

by Libbe HaLevy, M.A., CAC

My first gray hair – one – appeared when I was 16. I considered it such a novelty, I wouldn’t let my mother pull it out. I referred to it as my “strawberry blond” hair and proudly showed it off to friends.

In my 20’s, that hair was joined with a few others sprouting from the same part of my head. A bit of a streak formed. Again, no big deal.

But in my 40’s, the speed with which I was graying out scared me: I wasn’t that old! So I fell for the prevalent societal conditioning and started coloring hair for the first time ever, despite my aversion to placing harsh chemicals anywhere near my body. I carried it off until menopause changed my skin quality and color. Suddenly, the flat dark brown hair-cap on my head took on a harsh look. And my resistance to putting those chemicals smack against my scalp led me to delay the monthly coloring for longer and longer, leading to larger and larger stripes of what looked like pure white in an ever-increasing strip of “skunk hair.”

Finally, in my early-50’s, I’d had it. Who was I trying to fool? I went to my hairdresser and had him cut everything real short, so I showed hair that was 50/50 dark and white. For a month, I just pretended I’d had an expensive process done to “tip” my hair in that way. By my next haircut, all the black was gone – and I suddenly found myself wearing a beautiful, spiky silver cloud around my head! I’d never dyed my hair blond or done highlights, so this was my first experience with light-colored hair. I loved it!

Even better than the look was the feel. I’d forgotten what unadulterated hair felt like, how soft, pliant and luxurious. I enjoyed running my hands through it and feeling an animal-like pelt instead of dry cotton candy.

Then I started getting unsolicited comments of support. Other women called me “brave,” “stylish,” “daring.” Many said they couldn’t possibly give up their coloring, which gave me an opportunity to tell them that of course they could! – thus planting a little seed of societal rebellion.

These days, the natural gray look is becoming more common. I often comment to other women I see who have done the same and we bond, if only for a moment, over our shared hair aesthetic. I do believe that the key to making this work is having a great cut in a modern style. I spike my hair with various forms of goop and have fun schmushing it around. I feel the resulting look represents my self-confidence, comfort with my age, and an underlying hipness I’ve never lost.

As a life coach, internet business consultant and the founder of IncestSurvivorHealing.com, gray hair works in my favor. People trust me. They know at a glance that I’ve lived more than a few years (they should only know…!) and am not afraid to embrace what I’ve learned in all those years as a plus, not a minus. One high-end Hollywood stylist I met at a media seminar took me aside and said, “When I saw your hair I thought, ‘There is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.’”

That’s my message. Truth in advertising. Love the gray hair!

Libbe HaLevy, M.A., CAC

Communications and Creativity Expert

www.WriteYourBrainsOut.com

Info@WriteYourBrainsOut.com

Photo Courtesy of Obrag.org

Today is an extra special day at the Going Gray Blog headquarters because… we just turned two!

Here’s an excerpt from one of our favorite 2009 posts by Claire Douglass. Remember her beautiful painting?

"Venus Deleted" by Claire Douglass

“The whole process of revealing my ‘old lady’ hair has also been interesting. The reactions of other people have not always been predictable, and I’ve had to accept my own very visible maturity.

Whenever I am confronted with issues to resolve, I make art, so I want to share this painting with the readers of this blog. Because you’ll get it.”

Read the full post here.

So it’s our birthday and you want to get us something right? Great news! All we want this year is for you to…

1. Be a fan of our blog on Facebook

2. Follow us on Twitter

3. Re-Tweet this to your friends!

Thank you, dear readers, for making this blog what it is today. Keep coming back, we’ve got BIG plans for 2010.

Happy New Year to you all!

Going Gray is one year old this month.  I thought I would republish this post (our first one) and get your thoughts on what would like to discuss this year.  This is your blog!  Guest bloggers are welcome!

Just email goinggray@goinggrayblog.com

Just what is it about gray hair…Originally uploaded by iSeL Knits…that makes some people think they have a right to annoy others with their preconceived ideas about beauty and age and all that other crap that I have no interest in listening to? I cannot get a haircut without getting the usual half-joking (they don’t even have the cojones/ovarios to be honest) comment or lengthy diatribe about how I am “too young” to have all this gray hair exposed. It sort of offends them. And it’s not even that they want my money, because they go as far as to tell me that I could “take care of the problem” myself. REALLY? Been there; done that. Now, could you please respect my freedom to do whatever I want with my f’ing hair? Thank you.

erika no.3

Originally uploaded by themindee

Aging

by Sharon R. Poet

I stood in the line where every body goes,
To fix the aging form of skin, hair or nose.
But strong as stone, I stood as I studied my reflection,
And found these words, I felt, in my body’s deep rejection,
“Each crevice built for tears – these wrinkles on my face,
Are proof of precious years that NOTHING can erase.
In the grey of my fine hair, I sometimes see a glow.
Please handle it with care and let the magic show.
The sparkle in my eyes grows brighter every day.
Please don’t cover it up. Don’t take that away.
Every blemish, bump or sag, in the eyes of the weak,
May make me a hag. But HEAR these words I speak.
I want to remain human – the Truest kind of all.
Don’t stretch, tweak or fix me. I don’t want to be a doll.
I may not fit in, because of how I feel.
But I don’t want to change. So, let me just be REAL.”

My first grey hair?
Originally uploaded by bluemonki

Your first gray hair.  Do you remember when? Where were you?  Who were you with?  What thoughts were running through your head?  What do you know now that you wish you knew then?