About
Since 2008 we have been honored to develop relationships with women (and men) all over the world who have made Going Gray blog the destination site for those who have made the choice to go gray. Our goal is to create an online resource for our diverse community consisting of varying ages, cultures and ethnic groups. We adore and appreciate our readers! A few things we know about you:
- You are in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond. You are working moms, high-level executives, and homemakers. You are grandmothers, caregivers, and wives.
- You are incredibly kind and resourceful, always willing to encourage fellow readers with hair styling tips, advice on shampoos, before/after pictures and words of wisdom.
- Your choice to go gray is a manifestation of self-love, gratitude and abundant living.
- You are passionate about redefining the meaning of beauty.
If this is your first time here, welcome!
To all of our returning visitors, thank you for your stories, pictures, kind emails and terrific comments over the past few years.
To our entire community of gorgeous, vivacious gray-haired readers, it is your choice to go gray that truly makes you beautiful. Thank you for allowing us to be on this journey with you.
We also thank the following individuals for their contributions:
Resident Hair Care Expert – J. Christian Studio
Resident Hair Care Industry Expert – Salon Voices
- Going Gray Team
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
I last used permanent color in the spring , then when deciding I was tired of the coloring merry go round , started using a pemprary color that lasted @ 6 weeks….I think it helped the change to gray look more natural. In August I stopped all color and also am letting my hair grow to shoulder length. I am lucky not to have a clear line of colored vs gray hair and I am enjoying seeing how much and where my gray is(mostly aound my face). It is fun and freeing…I am 54(55 in Jan) and work out regularly and look forward to becoming totally gray while being in the best shape of my life! Fun!
Grey is a Great Colour – (Canadian Speak)
Grey or Gray, Colour or Color – Regardless of the spelling, it took a bit of courage to let the natural colour shine through. But once I reached that destination, I was so pleased with the result, that I can't imagine any reason to go back!
I am 46 this year, and I havce been "fighting" the grey since I turned 30, but now I am growing it in, I am almost at tyhe stage whan the old gross brown dye is grown out, and i'm ready to just have my own coloured hair finally. I haven't found much support so I was really pleased to find this site! The girl I sit next to at work said she would move seats if I went grey! Ha, well, I guess i'll just have top fuind a new person to sit next to
Now I want to find some funky styles! Any suggestions?
After dyeing my hair for soooo many years I have forgotton what my true hair colour really is. Well, this year I decided to take a trip down the natural lane to find out. My hair is growing in these wonderful shades from black to brown to gray to white…I can’t wait to see the final outcome. I’ve cut 10 inches off of my waist length dyed black hair and will watch patiently as my crown of glory grows out. Hats off to all the ladies & gentlemen that embrace their true selves. Thank you to the inventors of the internet to give us forums for speech and support. ……Sincerely, PlainJane from Canada
Hi there,
I have been colouring my hair for about 15 years (I am 38) – and have decided to stop colouring – I am keeping my hair short and will be proud of my gray hair – I am a little nervous – but am inspired by this site.
Thanks to all!
Josephine
Go for it Josephine and post some pics of your new silver hair!
I loved my gray hair, but frankly received mostly negative comments. I am an older mom and my ten year old hated it. It seemed to freak out some of the other mom's I know -both younger and older-I mostly received compliments from strangers! I crumbled and dyed my hair, but it needs frequent touch ups and I'm thinking about going gray again!
I am so glad to have found this blog. I have colored my hair since I was about 15 or 16. Premature gray was not for me! (Thanks Dad). But I must say, after being a slave to bi-weekly trips to the hair salon, spending almost all day, I decided it was time for a change. After relocating to Florida from New Jersey, I cut it off and went natural. Imagine my surprise when I realized that it was all almost white! People ask me all the time, "What color do you have in your hair?" I really baffle them when I tell them to check with God! I had a little set-back (a Gemini flash-back) and recently relaxed and colored my hair again.
Should not have done that. Can't wait until it grows out again.
@ Casey – we're so glad you are here! We understand the pressure to dye – don't fret too much. Just do what's best for you!
@Shakirah – That's a fantastic story! We're so glad you found us too!
We'd love for both of you to join us on our FB page too, to share your story!
http://www.facebook.com/gray.hair.rocks?ref=ts
I'm starting the growing out process and am getting the same comments. Nobody is on my side! My 9 year old has not said anything yet, but it could make or break me. Good luck on your growing out if you choose to do so. It's hard work! I hope I don't cave.
Don't give up Shannon, we are a growing band, you are not alone. You can do it, just have confidence in your choice. The choice you have made to be yourself.
I started getting grey hairs in my early twenties. I didn't color it until I was 36 and done nursing my second child (I am 44 now). I started with semi-permanent color, but had to go to permanent because I had so much grey at that point. What a pain! It took too much time and money, and I started worrying about what all that pigment was doing to my brain and the environment. Also, I got to the point of "My hair is grey – it is what it is." So, after coloring for a few years, I decided to let the grey grow in. My hairdresser dyed my hair an ash blonde so that the grey would blend in better as it grew in. I now have a mix of grey and white hair, and underneath is my natural dark brown. I get lots of compliments on it, and people tell me I'm brave. But, as I said, it is what it is. I am comfortable with it. Grey is awesome!
Susan, thank you so much for sharing! We're so glad you agree!
I am 58 years old. I started going grey @~ 20.(I had dark brown hair) Initially because there was just a little grey, I left it. As there was more and more (now white) hair, I started colouring my hair. This went on for a long time, and then I stopped…cold turkey. After receiving a LOT of pressure from society, and my children, I folded. Back to colouring my hair…this time with professional lo-lites. About 2 1/2 years ago, I became very tired of the time, cost and most of all, not being true to myself. My hair stylist helped me…she bleached the lo-lites, and we started out to grow my hair longer instead of cutting it short. (It was a bob length at the time). One time when my stylist wasn't available, I had another stylist, who when I described my plan to "go white", he said laughingly "we'll see how long that lasts". That comment inspired me to keep going when times got tough. My hair is now mostly white, the rest is steel grey, and I wear it shoulder length. No remnants of artificially coloured hair left. I LOVE it, and get many compliments about my hair. Often I hear "if my hair would be like yours, I'd grow it out too" . The thing is, all of us are individuals with our own appearance including hair colour….at what age are we, as women "allowed" to go grey??? My son-in-laws GRANDMOTHER still colours her hair @ nearly 80 years old! I think that's incredibly sad.
Toni,
Great story! Wonderful that you have a supportive stylist (and know how to handle an unsupportive one
Thanks for sharing!
Jamie – GG Team
Well, today I cut off what was left of my dyed hair! I must admit I was really looking forward to this day but I was also anxious. I've been letting my gray grow in for three months now -going shorter & blonder every two weeks. I'm 43 and started coloring for fun was I was 18 but by 38 I was coloring to conceal the gray. It wasn't fun anymore. Well, today I finally saw what I've been covering up all this time -> My hair is pewter/silver with a splash of white in the front! I'm so excited. My stylist cut it into a spiky pixie and I love it.
My silver haired husband encouraged me to make this step and he loves it too. But I have to say that my teen aged son looked at me when I got home today and said, "Wow, you dyed your hair gray!" LOL He was stunned when I explained! Now, I just can't wait to see my 80+ year old mother's expression – she's STILL dying her hair. I know I'll have to brace myself for the comments from friends and family but I do feel I made the right call on letting my natural color shine through. It's very freeing!
Tamara, that's great! We'd love to see pics! Please post if you get a chance in our Flickr group or on Facebook!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gray.hair.rocks?ref=ts
Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/groups/goinggrayblog/
can anyone tell me how I can get that dark "pewter" look on my dull gray hair?
I'm 59 and have not colored. Everytime I ask someone about the beautiful dark pewter they always say: "It's natural."
Hi Marie! I'll post this over on our Facebook page – maybe you'll get some good advice!
Thanks! Jamie – GG Team
Sorry Marie, I also meant to give you the link: http://www.facebook.com/gray.hair.rocks?ref=ts
I've been going grey since I was sixteen, although I had black hair until I was 25 with a few silvery strands here and there but due to lack of sleep, working too hard, hanging with the wrong crowd, or heredity, I started to go salt and pepper and stayed more peppery than salty for a while. Now only if I flip my hair over can you see the sleek lush dark brown/black hair I use to have. I tell people at the age of 46 I have earned every one of those hairs. I have never colored my hair except for maybe a little blue on my bangs in my punk rock days but I always kept and keep my hair natural otherwise and I love it. I keep it long and most of the time I get compliments on it especially when I've had time to really brush it out. Once in a while I'll get a buttinski who says it makes me look older and I tell them "no one asked you, if I'm ok with it what's it to you?" I don't mince words and if I didn't ask you why would I care what you think. I have to respect you in order to care what you think of me and even then, maybe not so much. I have to live with me the rest of my life and I love most of me and the stuff I don't I can change and I love my long grey hair.
I'm 52 and have been wrestling with the desire to go grey for a couple years. WHY IS IT SO SCARY?
Probably because society says NO. Anything that breaks the "rules" can seem scary. You've got tons of support here, Amy. Go for it!
How do you deal with hair stylists who feel the need to comment negatively on your gray hair every single time they see you? I have been to 5 different stylists in the past 2 years and none of them seem to want to respect my decision not to dye my hair. I always dread going for a cut, and I leave feeling like I look horrible, fearing that everyone must be thinking the same thing but these hair stylists are the only ones to say it. Does anyone else experience this and if so, how do you deal with it? These comments are really taking a toll on my self-confidence.
That's a terrible way to treat a customer, and certainly not good for business. I let my hair go completely silver at 50 (now 52) and I've mostly gotten positive comments, especially from younger people, who seem to think silver hair is pretty cool … and it is. Where do you live?
I live in NY. I am also in my 30s, maybe that has something to do with it. I have yet to go to a stylist who has not commented negatively on my grays. I actually dread going for a simple haircut because I don't want to be told that I look terrible!
I'm 34 and live in nyc and growing out my gray after years of dying — and my stylist is fully on board! i don't think she would have recommended it (especially because she was the one coloring my hair before), but respects my decision and is helping me with the right cuts to help the gray grow in gracefully. I just chopped off about 6 inches of dyed hair last month, leaving me with just a little bit left before i'm totally natural (i wasn't really up for a pixie cut, otherwise i could have gotten rid of all the dyed bits). My gray is a little bit all over but mostly at my temples and around my face. I'm still getting used to it, and feel some pressure to stay hip and trendy with style and clothing to counteract the fear of looking older. at any rate, there are stylists our there that won't make you feel bad, i promise!
Every time I visit my stylist and someone compliments me on my color, she always makes a point about the gorgeous variations in the colors of my gray hair. I am very confident in my choice to go gray, but if I wasn't, I know I could count on her to bolster my confidence. Keep looking, there is a stylist out there more concerned about you than making money off of coloring your hair.
Every time a stylist sees you walk back out the door with your silver hair, he or she sees potential $ walking out. Most stylists just want you to look beautiful, but I've been to a few who insisted I would look SO much better with short, dyed hair- I suspect hoping to bring me back through the door every 3 weeks for cut and color instead of 6 weeks for a simple trim.
Kelly, this is really sad to hear but I am glad you brought this to our attention. Look for a blog post soon on the topic!
highly distressed. I started turning gray when I was 28. it started in my bang area and then on my sides. my sister-in-law first noticed it and was like "oh my gosh, you got gray on the sides!" I think my gray was onset of stress, but not sure of this as my grandfather went gray when he was 18 and the majority of the people on my dad's side turned gray early. the haircolor did not upset me, but it was people's reactions (and still people's reactions of not seeing me for a long time) that bothered me. people who did not know me with my dark hair always comment on how beautiful my hair is and they hope when they start turning silver their hair will look like mine. my hair color does not bother me, but people's reactions to me bother me. i went to a job interview and the job I interviewed for the girl I would be working for was younger than me and during out interview she kept staring at my hair!!! I started to stop the interview and say "yes, I went gray at a young age…" but then I thought why should I have to explain myself, who I am, to this young girl who wants to judge my experience based on my hair color??? I never wanted to dye my hair, but dyed it once because of what I feared people would say about my gray hair and me being in my late 20's. I felt when I dyed my hair I was not myself, and hated it, and ever since have not dyed it. but, people's remarks are very hurtful, and at times it makes me hate who I am, when I shouldn't. I tell people who make comments saying "you've gotten grayer…" I say "oh, you talking about my platinum? my hubby always liked blonde girls when he was younger, now he has one!" although, my hubby loves me regardless of my hair color, but sometimes I feel threatened in a youth stricken favoring America finding this page has gave me encouragment.
I fully understand what you are going through – I use to color my hair (lowlights/highlights) until I had alot of gray and then stopped coloring. I do not wish to color my hair but get some of the same reaction from others as you. I sometimes go to a website goinggraylookinggreat for encouragement from other women who have CHOSEN to stay gray. I wish that we would just look at what is on the inside of a person – their character, how they treat others, etc, instead of what the person looks like. Hope that you are having a great day!
Dh, we must have missed your comment. Thank you. You should NEVER have to explain yourself. Good for you for noticing when someone else was stealing your power. You are in a much powerful place when you don't have to explain yourself, but simply BE. We are so glad we brought you some encouragement. Keep in touch! H
I am 58 years old and have been coloring my hair for years. My natural color was dark brown and my color is dark. When the color starts to grow off , the white roots look terrible !!!! I have to color it every four weeks and I am sick of it !!!! I don't want to be a color slave anymore !!!! Please help, I don't know where to start.
I love that I found this blog! I have been going gray since I was a teen and have been dying it ever since. I am now 25 and extremely tired of dying my hair! One, it is exhausting and two, it's not the real me! I am also trying to get ready for pregnancy and I don't know how much I want to be putting chemicals on my hair. I hope to find more and more encouragement on this blog to HELP me along!
Hi Rebecca! Welcome to our community. We especially admire those under 30 who have made this choice. Send us some pics! info@goinggrayblog.com.
Hi I am 58 yo and have been coloring my gray hair ever since I was in my thirties. When I was 45 I cut it short and let it grow gray but after 3 months, I gave up and went back to coloring. Now I am motivated to let it grow white, as I must have at least 80% white. At first I was so happy about it all. Now that my white roots are about 2,5 cm long, I find it harder and harder to put up with and I am afraid to give up the whole thing.
How can I find some support not to give up and go back to coloring? my hair is half lengh, and I can't do anything on the colored part as it has been hennaed for years.
Thanks.
So much fun to find this blog. I'm 58 have been colouring my hair for 30 years.
I'm dark brown, but I got some blonde streaks 3 months ago and this has helped the transition.
I was so tired of colouring my hair, the salon was so expensive and home jobs killed my hair.
I have about 3 inches of grey, now, and I think it's going to be awsome!!!
For so many years I've wanted to do this, but I listened to friends who said, don't, you'll look too old.
I've also been inspired to go to a gym, loose weight and eat well.
By the time I reach my goal weight my hair will be ready and perfect!!!
Wow, so nice to find this blog. I am 46 and have been desperatly trying to keep my bright copper-red hair since I was 30. In November 2011 i gave up the fight and had my stylist start processing the color down every few weeks. I am now a pale strawberry blonde with very white roots showing boldly. It's great. I've had more complements on my hair in the past month than I've had in years. I'm not quite sure if my husband is ready for it, but the white hair is on the way!
Hi, I decided to let my grow out after I kept seeing the white line after only 2 weeks after colouring. I was curious to see exactly what colour my hair actually is (I have been dying it off and on since I was 18). I was pleased to see that it is silver (almost my entire head). Because my hair was auburn and is fairly long, I decided to get some platinum streaks to break up the demarkation line.
Unexpectedly, I have received lots of compliments on my hair, not only from my friends and acquaintances, but also from strangers. I should have done this years ago. I am looking forward to embracing my silver and becoming familiar with this blog.