Dear Friends at Going Gray, I have been colouring my hair all my life for fun, whimsy, brighten up my face, etc. I have decided to go gray because I am sick of covering it up;. it is coming in fiercely now. it is practically white. Also I saw all the before and after photos on the going gray websites and lo and behold (with few exceptions) everybody looked fine and not necessarily older or dowdy. Also since I have decided, I have been seeing a lot of silver and white haired (Eileen Fisher/Flax-types, which I am one) on the streets, in stores, etc and they all look great. I have decided that I am secure enough in my working situation to do this and I am totally psyched. Now for the transition, I am not willing to cut my hair because it takes too long to grow back. By the way, I have no support for this decision. Friends and clients are stunned into silence. Hairdressers want to cut. But with every passing day, I am more resolved to do it, my way.
I have already come through what I call the first phase of discovery. On the chats, go gray people (my friends) advise to lighten up to blend (low lights). Well I have been dark blonde and burnished red for so long it took me while to realize that none of these colours would work anymore and looking at my actual grey roots, I discovered that they are salt and pepper because, duh, my original was some kind of brown. So I went dark, I picked up a box of brown colouring and just 2 inches from the actual roots, covered up the red, blonde, etc. So that now it actually looks very natural. soft brown with the salt n pepper roots. Another funny thing is that the grey actually now seems to be coming in very slowly, especially when I wear it curly; but every now and then I like blow it out and wear it straight. Now my main problem is that none of the roots actually show up in a photo. I just look like I have a silver aura around me in the photos so I don’t know how I could possibly document this process (for your project). …..I live alone; no one to take these pictures, I am not particularly photogenic and just using a cell phone camera, the roots simply do not show.. And you are right this is becoming way to introspective…….obsessive. Anyway I will attach some photos if that is allowed. and I will try to document in a few months perhaps it will be more dramatic then. Thanks for being there.
Do you have gorgeous gray hair worthy of flaunting? Do you know someone else that does? Are you looking for support with letting your hair go gray? Send us your story along with a picture to goinggray@goinggrayblog.com.
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Hi!
You’ve got lots of support here. I don’t have much friend or family support either…but they will come around…i hope. I have the same problems with my photos…and I use a cell phone camera also. BIG SMILE.
You are going to look great (not that you don’t already)…but letting the gray/silver out is very freeeeeeing.
Congratulations on letting your hair be real! You will be more aware of the increasing number of us who are no longer slave to expensive and time consuming color that we often didn’t like the result of anyway!! I am46 and began going gray at 24. I have been every color available and after my divorce (14 years ago) I decided be the natural me! I receive compliments from complete strangers almost everyday! I have never desired to go back to artificial color and I love the texture of my natural hair! Good luck on your journey and I did find that wearing my hair up in twists or ponytails helped me get through the process of growing out the color. Be brave! The color of hair is not what makes a woman beautiful- that’s on the inside!!
Hi
I too am thinking of not colouring my hair again – I am 56 and have been colouring since my twenties or thirties. I was diagnosed with breast cancer last April and of course my chemotherapy treatment meant I lost all my hair. It has started growing back and of course it is grey/whitish. It seems like the ideal time to stop colouring and I am going to ask various friends who I know colour their hair for their opinions. I suspect they will be flabbergasted and not impressed! Any support would be gratefully received. Having gone through cancer and just recently finished my treatment I am just grateful to be here and hair colouring doesn’t seem so important any more.
Looking forward to comments….
Annie
You have my support. I’m not ready to cut off all my hair for various reasons. Also, I’m sportin two strand twists and underneath some of the dark hair are the grays coming in; I’m semi pass what they call the “skunk” stage. I have been tempted now and then to do a semi permanent wash on the front primarily until some of the gray can grow out a little longer. I to have self esteem problems with the grow out phase: thinking that people will think I’m not concerned about “grooming” and neglecting myself. As far as “looking older” ; well I am “older”(58 years old) In no way does my hair, being dark, make me look 10 years younger. So who am I foolin? I’ve decided that worrying about those new grays which grow in weekly is not worth dying hair for all the time. I’m tired. I want to be free of thinking about dyeing. Thank you for this blog.
Hi Annie,
You have my my support, you do it! You will look great, and feel so good about yourself. You can be proud of yourself that you are not afraid to be natural. After cancer everything else must seem so trivial. Being alive is what matters and being happy in ourselves. Well done for joining the natural look and being yourself. x x
Congratulations! It really does get easier. I recommend hairbands in every colour, they need to get wider as your roots grow. Now I’ve had all the colour cut out I favour a small beret with a few curls showing, but that’s only because I’ve got a rubbish haircut.
I also recommend the use of lipstick as an antidote to that irrational but unrelenting internal voice that says we look like we’re neglecting ourselves. This is a good time to channel your inner stubborn mule and dig those hooves in. You are doing great x
Hi, I am so proud of you!!! After 27 years of coloring and wondering why i am losing so much hair when i shampoo i am ready to go natural got to say its fun with the money i will be saving on hair color i can buy a mason pearson hair brush which will be good for my hair!!! I really feel that useing med brown has aged me ,I am 53 years old you go girl!!!!!!
I too am going gray. I am 63 and feel it’s time to just be me. I started out very enthused..got alot of negative advice from friends and hairdressers and things like how I should get streaks etc. I don’t want any help except good haircuts. Nearly three months on and I look “piebald” !! The dark brown has faded to a golden patchy look and the front is white and the back grey…….I’m not loving it but am holding on and hoping that the end result will be worth it. I keep the makeup fresh and dress well and try to look at the positives………..but yes,I am feeling the need for some support too.
As I read these posts, I realize more and more the spiritual quest we are on. It’s called being yourself. Do You as Russel Simmons named his book about finding the “brand” in yourself.
Think about it; we’re over 40 and still concerned about what people think about our “choice”. Yet if we were to get sick with Cancer and loose all of our hair, there are people with less judgement about “balding”. What is that about? It’s about “choice”. People are questioning your right to decide that you no longer wish to be a “conformist” and when you meditate on this, it’s not a pretty picture.
Now I don’t want to leave everyone in a down mood; but in a mood of contemplation: when will we just do our own thing because it is what we want to do? who defines beauty for us? and why is it defined for us?
Just some things to think about.
I’m 61 and have decided to quit coloring. My hair dresser is going to put light highlights in my hair so it’s not so shocking when it grows out. I can’t wait to be liberated!!!!!
Ali