I’m 39 years old, and the mom to four kids (8, 6, 5, and 1). I am completely gray.
I noticed my first grays in high school. By the end of college, I was using semi-permanent dyes on a regular basis. By the time I was 25, I had switched to permanent colors. At 30, I was using permanent dyes and highlighting also. I highlighted about twice a year, and colored about every 8 weeks. At 35, I was coloring, highlighting and also lowlighting. I had stepped-up my coloring to every 6 weeks. At 39, I was coloring, highlighting, lowlighting, and touching up roots every 3 weeks. I had a standing Friday morning appointment every 3 weeks. I needed it at about 2 weeks, but I pushed it to 3. By that time, everyone knew I was gray. Who was I really fooling?
By chance, in December 2007, I was in the bookstore looking for Christmas presents. I was lost in the aisles and came across Anne Kreamer’s book. It was eye-opening. I stood in the aisle and read the whole thing. The seed was planted and began to grow.
My last color occurred on December 21, 2007. Of course, it had to be in time for the holidays. With the New Year, I decided it was time for a change. I was done coloring; transitioning began, and boy, has it been hard. I probably only have support from 50% of my family. My in-laws have never mentioned my changing hair; they act as if it’s not even occurring (I know this isn’t a positive because previously when I discussed it with them, they all tried to discourage me from experimenting with the gray). My first-grader asked me not to come to her class because she didn’t want everyone to know my hair was all gray “because no other moms have gray hair.” She eventually changed her mind and let me come. To transition, I had to go from long hair to very short hair, and that’s been hard.
In the end, I’m glad I made the change. There is still a “disconnect” when I see a photo of myself, or catch my reflection in the mirror. Who is that person? But, I love the freedom of not having to dye my hair. I love the feel of my hair. I love the color. I wish I had my length back. I wish I wasn’t prematurely gray. But I am. I’ve accepted it.
I look forward to having my length back (and more of my curls), but that’s really all I miss. Oh, and the day after I got it all cut off, when all that I had showing was the gray, I got carded when I tried to purchase a bottle of wine. Go figure!
Aileen
Please visit Aileen’s blog, Make Mine a Quad, for more thoughts and more beautiful pictures. Thank you, Aileen.
Do you have gorgeous gray hair worthy of flaunting? Do you know someone else that does? Send us your story along with a picture to goinggray@goinggrayblog.com.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello Aileen. You and I are living parallel lives as regards our hair. My last dye was the day after yours, 22nd December 2007, and I too have gone from long to short. While loving the freedom from dyeing every 3 weeks I miss my long hair – I did the ultra short cut too. I have had mixed reactions, mostly good but some vociferous disapproval too. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope to see photographs of you as your hair grows long again. I’m going to have a look at your blog now.
Hey Aileen!
You have a beautiful face! Please don’t go back to being one of the ‘un-gray’ again and let your hair grow long! I was imagining what you’d look like with long curly hair framing that cute pixie face of yours!
Too bad you don’t have more support at home. My daughter also wanted me to keep coloring my hair for the same reason but she came around eventually.
I had a copper-brown hair color growing up and I miss my hair color too but this is what I look like now and I’m stayin’ gray!! Bravo for you!!!!
regards,
joellen
Hi Sharon and JoEllen,
Thanks so much for your comments. Sharon, as I was going through my process, I was watching yours online. I have to say, you were kind of my impetus for doing the all out chop. I didn’t know what else to do, and I thought yours looked just great, so I went for it. As it’s been almost 2 months since then, my hair is growing out quite nicely. It’s got lots of waves, and a few more inches, and there will be some curls too. I still haven’t quite adjusted to the shortness; I still reach up at night to pull out some imaginary ponytail before putting my head on the pillow; I still do a double-take when I catch my reflection. But I’m adjusting, and I dare say, so are the kids. Jo-Ellen, thanks for the compliments. I plan on posting some more recent photos on my blog in probably another month or two.
Here’s to gray (and natural!)!
Aileen
I am so happy to find this site. I read Going Gray in September of 2007 and never looked back… or rather, have not visited my colorist since! I was going every 5 weeks for a touch up. I usually did not like my color for a week (too harsh) and then really needed to go back 3 weeks later. It truly has been a hard transition. One quarter of my hair is salt and pepper and 3/4 is coppery brown. I am too afraid to cut it short at this point, so I wear it up a lot. I need a little more length and courage before I go for it. What has been most transforming for me is not my appearance, but my attitude. I no longer find myself comparing myself to twenty or thirty year olds. I am 43 years old and although some days I ask myself “what am I doing??? ” I am the most content I have ever been in my life and I know I am commited. Thanks for sharing your story Aileen. I am glad to know there are other women who are focused and defying the unhealthy norms placed upon us!!!