The absolute strangest thing about growing my natural hair is that I keep having nightmares that I “forget” one day and “accidentally” go get my hair dyed and have to start all over. My anxiety comes from the stress of half-and-half hair. After one full year with no coloring, my hair is half gray streaked and half dyed. Just about 6 inches of each.
I know, I could get a short cut at this point, but I don’t want to. I like it long; I need a few more inches before I can cut it without having a breakdown. And I know, I could have done some transitional color. But I’m 36 years old, and while there’s a line where my hair changes, it’s not so striking that I can’t get away with it. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Because honestly, I just wanted to stop.
I wanted every inch from that moment on to be completely, naturally mine.
I recently received an email where a woman told me that she is equally terrified and fascinated by her gray hair. It feels just like that for me, so I’ve been documenting the transition on my blog, Everyday Goddess, under the category, Shades of Gray. I even did a vlog where I talked about Anne Kreamer’s book, Going Gray, and my own experiences.
I recently got a comment on my blogthat said, “…everybody looks older with gray hair. All the personal and professional crap that goes along with looking like a woman who has passed her sexual prime is not worth it to me. When I am old, I will embrace it. For now, I dye.”
I absolutely respect and understand where this woman is coming from. At the same time, doesn’t this point out how ridiculous all this hair dyeing is? I’m 36 years old, and Hello, Sexual Prime. And my natural hair is full of gray. It doesn’t mean anything. This is what I naturally look like.
Look, I know that appearances and perceptions matter. That’s certainly why having natural hair sometimes worries me. But there’s something more important in the strength I get by being myself. By not spending time and money I don’t have on something I don’t want to appease people I don’t even care about.
The simple truth is, I like my natural hair. It’s healthier, and it suits me. So I do what’s best for me, and I make my way through society the best I can. Gray hair and all.
Cheers,Liz
Do you have gorgeous gray hair worthy of flaunting? Do you know someone else that does? Send us your story along with a picture to goinggray@goinggrayblog.com.
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I said it before on your own blog and I’ll repeat it here: you are being true to yourself and doing what works for you. I think that’s admirable. I think you are very brave. I also think that once you’re in your forties, it doesn’t really matter – your skin tells people that you are a “mature” woman, regardless of whether you color your hair or not.
Stay the course and don’t dye until you are ready to cut and be 100% you, Liz! I think your hair is growing out in a lovely way and will be stunning on you once it’s all natural.
I agree with the woman who said her gray hair equally fasinates and terrifys her – mine does too. When I stopped being one of the ‘un-gray’ my hair was fully silver underneath and it was a little bit of a shock when it grew out but I really love it this color – on the other hand all my favorite clothes are for a redhead!! I’ve had to refigure out my color palette and that’s been bittersweet because I no longer look so good in some of my favorite things – including some sweaters I hand knitted…
Thank you!
Hi JoEllen,
The clothing happened to me, too! I think the gray really suits me, but I’ve found that when I wear black – which I do a lot because I live in Los Angeles! – I feel the need now to add color a bit more than I did before. I guess my dyed hair was adding a dash of brighter color, whereas my natural hair is more cool (which I greatly prefer!).
Accepting my gray hair is a sign that I’m comfortable with myself (and my wife likes it!) I’m a bit concerned though that a movement might develop (maybe already has) which views people who choose to dye their hair as some kind of traitors. That would be a shame.
I came across this site because I am debating whether or not to go gray naturally. I have to colour my hair every 3 weeks, it grows like a weed, I am fed-up. The last straw was after finally finding my colour combination, L’Oreal did the unthinkable, they changed the colours, chick on the box et al. Again I had to find the right combination, because I don’t like any of the single colours they have. This resulted in having to colour my whole head each time I dyed, my hair is being fried. I am done! My concerns are; (a) the colour I have been dying my hair is what I think should be my natural colour but sadly, is not. (b) I am not sure how gray I am, I think it’s about 60%, might be more. My natural colour is dark brown, I am not sure gray hair, light hair, will suit my colouring. And of course there is the whole looking old thing. I am single, I have a poodle, you do the math. I am going to buy the Anne Kreamer book tomorrow and consult a hair stylist to determine whether or not I take the next step. I can’t believe how hard this decision is. Oy vey
It was a hard decision for me too at first. Like someone else said here some time ago – I was equally repelled and drawn to my gray hair. But, once it was all grown out – I knew I would never go back! I love it and my dear mom-in-law is right – dyed hair looks funny no matter what you do to it. Glenn, I don’t call people who choose to dye their hair traitors – I call them ‘the un-gray’ (think Dracula). hahahah – in a kind way, of course! Everybody has to row their own boat – I would never advise anyone else what to do with their hair – that’s really personal! But, I’m glad I gave up the hair dye and I DO want to encourage other people who are thinking of trying it!
cheers!
There was an episode of MASH where Harry Morgan (as Col Potter) said: When there’s snow on the roof, there’s a fire in the furnace!
You don’t have to be prematurely gray to stoke those coals!